Do you remember Bud Light's Real Men of Genius beer advertisements? Here's a sample of one: "Here's to you Mr. All You Can Eat Buffet Inventor."
Well, here's my version:
Today we salute you, Mr. I Hate My Job Packing Your Groceries:
You've given me several reasons for this to be a wonderful day: dirty hands, a scowl on your face, and pants at the bottom of your crack that says you need some new boxers.
Haphazardly tossing groceries into the plastic bags, you push grocery packing to its limits, successfully breaking up the inconvenient piles of grouped groceries on the belt.
If there's beef, you'll toss it with the apples.
If there's chicken, you'll throw it in with the lettuce.
And if there's detergent, that goes with just about anything.
So clock out and enjoy an early retirement on me. Next time I'll go through the bag-your-own line with a whole cart-full of groceries just to bag them myself.
Thanks for the rant! :)